crazyness

ok this is pure craziness first of all i should mention that i'm back from camp honestly this whole thing has been a blur from exams and spring festival to graduation and summer camp had all been one crazy fun weird blur i haven't really have a chance to sit down and this about all of it for starters i've graduated high school and unlike everyone else i'm going straight to the real world i'm not doing that whole college easing you into life deal i'm diving right in but at the moment it more feels like drowning I went from being a carefree senior just hanging out with my friends and in a few short weeks i'm going to sign to lease an apartment i'm worring about gas and electric bills and grocries and where i can get the cheapest towels and skillets i mean it's such a surreal feeling to be shopping for apartments and coming how knowing i'm only going to be leaving again all too soon part of me is so excited for the upcoming year i'll be on my own and i'll be in a new place with new people i have a great oppurtunity to improve my dancing and maybe even get a job but at the same time it's alot to deal with. I still haven't been able to really sit down and think or talk to anyone about any of this. I don't even feel like i've been able to celebrate my graduation or let that fact sink in. In about a week i'm going to be 18 and an adult and not in the i can get a credit card and that type of trivial stuff but i'm gonna have bills and responsibilites for real it's alot to take in all at once maybe i just ignored the fact but it seems to have hit me all at once. I was just looking forward to coming home in august and spending sometime with my friends before i left you know go out sleep late and be lazy what most grads are doing this summer but instead i'm figureing out a budget and how's gonna bring the toaster and all this stuff true some is extremely trivial like how do i want to decorate my room but other things like a budget and how i'm gonna afford a car and where to park and a job and a checking and savings account and setting up the gas and electric at my new apartment it's just an overload and as much as i want to move in my life it's freaking scary i'm not sure what to think of it all but i guess i just gotta go one step at a time and hope i can deal with this